glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
