I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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