So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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