One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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