I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
