# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can Purell be used as lube?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
