why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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