If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
