I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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