She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
