I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Panties = found
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
