You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
be right there i have to get my cape
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
