please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
