I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Everclear isn't food dammit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
