You're my little dorito
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
