Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
