Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
