He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My ass is underappreciated
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
