I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
