Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
