you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
