Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
