I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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