He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
