Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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