That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
