Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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