Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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