Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
