Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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