Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
