You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
