Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
