i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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