btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm too high and old for this...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize