I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize