The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
