Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
