Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
