Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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