She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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