I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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