I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
