Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
