just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize