U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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