Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
