Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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