You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
