That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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