I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
