Buhtt sex?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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