after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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