i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
