Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
