We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
